Faire face au cancer avec la pensée réaliste

J’ai publié récemment sur mon blogue un billet concernant les dangers de la pensée positive. J’aimerais revenir sur ce sujet qui me touche tout particulièrement en vous présentant un nouvel ouvrage publié chez Flammarion Québec: Faire face au cancer avec la pensée réaliste.

Je vous en parle tout d’abord parce que ce livre a été écrit par une personne dont je suis proche depuis l’enfance: Josée Savard est ma « vieille » et précieuse amie depuis l’école primaire dans la basse-ville de Québec. Elle est maintenant professeur titulaire à l’École de psychologie et chercheur au Centre de recherche en cancérologie de l’Université Laval. Je n’ai rien à voir avec ses succès mais je suis quand même très fière d’elle!

Mais je vous parle surtout de ce livre parce que c’est un ouvrage important qui pourrait venir en aide à vous ou à un de vos proches. Josée a une expérience clinique de plus de 15 ans auprès de personnes confrontée à une maladie menaçant leur vie. Elle a donc vu les effets négatifs de la tyrannie de la pensée positive sur les patients: culpabilisation, anxiété, colère, dépression, découragement, etc. Quand on croit pouvoir se guérir si « on le veut vraiment », alors lorsque le cancer reprend le dessus, on peut être porté à croire que c’est de notre faute. Les gens malades n’ont pas du tout besoin de cette pression supplémentaire!

L’ouvrage s’adresse aux patients atteints du cancer. Il pourrait aussi être d’une grande aide aux professionnels de la santé Å“uvrant en oncologie. L’auteur leur propose d’adopter la pensée réaliste qui favorise l’adaptation de la personne à la maladie en l’amenant à percevoir sa situation telle qu’elle est, tout en espérant que le meilleur survienne. Cette approche est basée sur les préceptes de la thérapie cognitive-comportementale, celle qui a reçu le plus de preuves scientifiques quant à son efficacité.

Ce que j’aime particulièrement de ce livre, c’est qu’on n’y trouve pas de recette miracle ni de mysticisme bon marché. Juste des techniques faciles à comprendre et qui ont été testées par de nombreux psychologues en clinique. L’ouvrage est divisé en 9 chapitres qui proposent des conseils pratiques pour aider à diminuer les difficultés psychologiques associées à la maladie.

Voici la liste des chapitres:
1. Le cancer et l’optimisme réaliste
2. L’influence des pensées et des comportements
3. Reconnaître les pensées négatives et les remplacer par des pensées réalistes
4. La culpabilité et la dépression
5. L’anxiété et la peur de la récidive
6. La colère
7. L’insomnie
8. La fatigue
9. S’adapter à la progression du cancer et apprivoiser la mort

Déprimant comme lecture? Je ne le crois pas, non. Comme le conclut l’auteur du livre:

Personne ne sera jamais heureux d’avoir un cancer, mais il est possible de vivre cette situation plus sereinement, en changeant la façon de la percevoir et en éliminant plusieurs comportements qui maintiennent les difficultés psychologiques.

Comme m’a dit Josée dans sa dédicace, j’espère que vous n’aurez jamais besoin de lire ce livre. Mais si vous ou un de vos proches est atteint du cancer, cet ouvrage pourrait faire une différence dans leur manière de gérer leurs émotions pendant la maladie.

Think positive? Think again!

With a new year comes new resolutions. This year, you are going to do what you always told yourself you should do and damn it, you’ll be successful at it. You’ll work hard because you know success is based on merit and it comes to people who truly deserve it because of their relentless efforts. You will go far and perhaps even become your own brand. Why not? If you are not succeeding in your goal, it’s because you are not trying hard enough, right?

So what does that say about people who are not « successful »? Does that make them losers? Or are they maybe just too lazy?

For years, especially in the U.S., positive thinking and meritocracy have been pushed forward not only by popular show hosts like Oprah but also by psychologists, doctors and entrepreneurs. You are sick? Think in a positive light, don’t let any negativity creep in and you will beat your disease. You want to be a famous singer? Stand on the street and sell your show ticket by ticket if you have to. They say Marilyn wasn’t the most talented young actress around. She became famous because she wanted it MORE than any other girl did. (Or maybe she said that herself. I can’t seem to find the original quote.)

Because I’m not an optimist by nature – a result of personality and unhappy childhood – this kind of positive thinking has always made me cringe. « Yes we can » is nice and all, but I’m more of the « Okay let’s give it a try but don’t get your hopes up too much » type of mentality. It freaks me out to see positivity elevated as the new moral standard, the new religion to follow. My lack of faith may not allow me to fly as high as a kite, but it keeps my feet well grounded. It also means that I often have a plan B, which makes me ready to move on when something doesn’t go my way.

Thankfully, we are slowly hearing voices rising up against this excess of magical thinking. Barbara Ehrenreich, who wrote the famous book Nickel and Dimed just published another book with an exciting title:
Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America.

The practice of positive thinking is an effort to pump up this belief in the face of much contradictory evidence. Those who set themselves up as instructors in the discipline of positive thinking— coaches, preachers, and gurus of various sorts—have described this effort with terms like “self-hypnosis,” “mind control,” and “thought control.” In other words, it requires deliberate self-deception, including a constant effort to repress or block out unpleasant possibilities and “negative” thoughts. The truly self-confident, or those who have in some way made their peace with the world and their destiny within it, do not need to expend effort censoring or otherwise controlling their thoughts. Positive thinking may be a quintessentially American activity, associated in our minds with both individual and national success, but it is driven by a terrible insecurity.

For a fun take on the book, watch the interview that Jon Stewart did with Barbara Ehrenreich.

Going in a similar direction, the writer Alain de Botton recently gave a TED talk titled A kinder, gentler philosophy of success.

There’s a real correlation between a society that tells people that they can do anything, and the existence of low self-esteem.

Everybody agrees that meritocracy is a great thing and we should all be trying to make our societies really meritocratic. A meritocratic society is one in which if you’ve got talent and energy and skill you will get to the top. Nothing should hold you back. It’s a beautiful idea. The problem is, if you really believe in a society where those who merit to get to the top get to the top, you’ll also by implication, and in a far more nasty way, believe in a society where those who deserve to get to the bottom also get to the bottom and stay there. In other words, your position in life comes to seem not accidental, but merited and deserved. That makes failure seems much more crushing.

We’re perceived as being in the driving seat. That’s exhilarating if you are doing well but crushing if you’re not. In the worst cases, it leads to depression and suicide. They own their success but also own their failure.

The whole talk is available on video here.

If you’re not convinced yet that grumpier is better, you might want to consider this recent study:

An Australian psychology expert who has been studying emotions has found being grumpy makes us think more clearly.

In contrast to those annoying happy types, miserable people are better at decision-making and less gullible, his experiments showed.

Professor Forgas said: « Whereas positive mood seems to promote creativity, flexibility, co-operation and reliance on mental shortcuts, negative moods trigger more attentive, careful thinking, paying greater attention to the external world. »

Grumpy people of the world unite! Let’s all get a sweet, global reality check. Way to start 2010!

Évitement

Article amusant (et rassurant) sur TheStar.com sur les méthodes employées par les écrivains pour éviter de commencer à écrire.

On se reconnaît particulièrement dans certains passages…

« I read the entire Internet first, » admits the Canadian poet Jennica Harper (What it Feels Like for a Girl). « I’ve discovered this is a problem for a lot of us. People used to start the day by reading an actual newspaper, which, while long, is finite. When your morning news comes via the Endless Tubes, it’s harder to know where to stop.

via Dead Things on Sticks.